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Someone I know just posted why they aren't a bitch. And I sympathize with them. I understand very well why being called a bitch can hurt and feel degrading. Until I realized, in my OWN life, that for me - it is actually an empowering word. I'm not going to define a bitch - others have done it much better than I could at this point in my day. If you don't believe me, read the following: No matter WHICH variation of definition you use - it comes down to the same thing. Bitches are strong women. They know their mind, they know they are the captain of their own lives - while they may take the advice of others, they CHOOSE their life, rather than have it chosen for them. Even if they are submissive in the BDSM sense, they are still strong, capable and willing to define their own boundaries and admit to their limitations. In some cases, like in the second link above, it scares certain types of men. They would prefer to have the "childlike" idea of women - that we are all "submissive" and "willing to cater to our man's every whim." Sorry, Charlie - even in the 50s (that time of June Cleaver) - there were strong women who weren't "submissive" and "catered to their men." And they weren't necessarily outcasts either. So, I take power from the word bitch. I take pride in it. In some cases - particularly in cases where a man is using it to attempt to belittle me - I revel in it. I am a strong woman. I know my mind, and I choose my path. I know AND communicate my boundaries, and I know and acknowledge my limitations. If you (i.e. "generic you" - male, female, society, little green men from Mars, whomever) can't handle it, baby -- get out of my way. Tags: life
Current Location: home
Feeling: alive
Listening: I am the Body Beautiful / Salt n Pepa / To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
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...about the movie Alice on the Sci Fi (because I refuse to type it in as the "new renamed channel) channel. Mostly because I know at least one of my beloveds has not yet seen it all the way through, and I refuse to spoil it. Those two things are: 1) I love the cast. I really do. I really love the fact that they had Kathy Bates as the Queen of Hearts. But WHY IN THE HELL did they have to put her in mumus?? Please. She's an attractive woman, and doesn't have a bad body. OK, she's not a size 0, but she does NOT have to wear this shapeless piece of crap in order to be attractive. 2) I want a Hatter for myself. I just do. If you've seen the movie, you know what I mean. If you haven't - you gotta watch it. You cannot tell me this guy is not a little hottie. But yes, I am talking about the character - even if the actor is a hottie. I want a Hatter, not necessarily Andrew Lee Potts (not that I would kick him out of bed for eating crackers, just I think I really like the character's personality).  And yes, I am fully aware that I have a thing for "bad boys." So sue me. Ah, I could go on for a long time about the character - but that would be getting into spoilerage. But, yeah. I'd like to cuddle up with that on a cold winter's night. Feeling:  tired
Listening: Blessed Silence
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Xmas related memes:On the twelfth day of Christmas,  cmwagner sent to me... Twelve gelastic_gals drumming Eleven terry31415s teaching Ten turtlegrrl13s a-learning Nine gwynn_aarons drawing Eight stormsylvers a-reading Seven corsets a-swimming Six graphics a-living Five ca-a-a-ats Four ravens Three computers Two dreams ...and a tarot in a polyamory. OK, quick comment or two about this next one. 1) I didn't know I had an "inner CONvergence" - wow, that's cool! 2) I don't know that my boss could HANDLE a 'morrighan'; and 3) How does one play "the occult"? Could be interesting. :) In 2009, cmwagner resolves to... Do more drawing.
Spend more time with my corsets.
Connect with my inner convergence.
Find a new paganidea.
Ask my boss for a morrighan.
Learn to play the occult.
And this is fun (and just for ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) silvercrowsong): A star, a star, dancing in the night,
With a giant squid as big as a kite,
With a giant squid as big as a kite. Do You Hear What I Hear?
from the Christmas Song Generator. And, that 30 days of Xmas meme I started yesterday: ( Day's already posted (Dec 2 & 3) )12/4 Your favorite television programAgain, I have a lot of them. In no particular order they are: House, Fringe, ALL the CSIs, Sanctuary, Bones, Ghost Whisperer, Numb3rs, Dollhouse (damn, I wish it hadn't been cancelled), NCIS, and a bunch of others I can't remember right now. Why, yes, I like police procedurals - why do you ask? *grin* 12/5 Your favorite book 12/6 Your favorite quote 12/7 Whatever tickles your fancy 12/8 A photo that makes you happy 12/9 A photo that makes you angry/sad 12/10 A photo you took 12/11 A photo of you taken over ten years ago 12/12 A photo of you taken recently 12/13 Whatever tickles your fancy 12/14 A fictional book 12/15 A non-fictional book 12/16 A fanfic 12/17 A song that makes you cry (or nearly) 12/18 An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.) 12/19 Whatever tickles your fancy 12/20 A talent of yours 12/21 A hobby of yours 12/22 A recipe 12/23 A website 12/24 A YouTube video 12/25 Whatever tickles your fancy 12/26 Your day, in great detail 12/27 Your week, in great detail 12/28 This month, in great detail 12/29 This year, in great detail 12/30 Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days 12/31 Whatever tickles your fancy Listening: Blessed Silence
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I saw this on lordsaphon's LJ,and like him, I kind of like the idea. Like him, I will probably be simply updating this particular post, and reposting it. 12/2 Your Favorite SongI like a lot of songs - but hands down, Queen is probably my favorite band. And sometimes, "I'm Going Slightly Mad" is my theme song. Here for your viewing pleasure (and amusement) is the music video from it. 12/3 Your Favorite MovieI'm not quite sure I have a "favorite" movie. I have a lot of movies I like though. Most recently, I rewatched (because it was avaialable "on Demand" from Comcast) "Toys" with Robin Williams. 12/4 Your favorite television program 12/5 Your favorite book 12/6 Your favorite quote 12/7 Whatever tickles your fancy 12/8 A photo that makes you happy 12/9 A photo that makes you angry/sad 12/10 A photo you took 12/11 A photo of you taken over ten years ago 12/12 A photo of you taken recently 12/13 Whatever tickles your fancy 12/14 A fictional book 12/15 A non-fictional book 12/16 A fanfic 12/17 A song that makes you cry (or nearly) 12/18 An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.) 12/19 Whatever tickles your fancy 12/20 A talent of yours 12/21 A hobby of yours 12/22 A recipe 12/23 A website 12/24 A YouTube video 12/25 Whatever tickles your fancy 12/26 Your day, in great detail 12/27 Your week, in great detail 12/28 This month, in great detail 12/29 This year, in great detail 12/30 Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days 12/31 Whatever tickles your fancy Listening: Blessed Silence
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There comes a point where the glib saying of "your kink is not my kink" or "your path is not my path" (or any other way to say "just because my choices are different than yours doesn't make my choices wrong") to explain away concerns about the health or well-being of an individual or group becomes less of a 'truism' and more of an excuse for abuse, inappropriate behavior/touching/interactions, or other interpersonal issues. I try to learn as much as I can about another person's path, choices, or whatever BEFORE I get concerned about things I am seeing. And that means if you are a Pagan, and walking a different path - then yes, I am going to ask questions about your path. Or if you are kinky and your kink is different than mine, I am going to ask questions about it. But there are some things that are just pretty damned OBVIOUS. And the fact that there are so many people - particularly (but not SOLELY) in the kink and pagan communities who consistently and willingly turn a blind eye to abuses of power and ethics pisses me off to no end. Fine, your path includes heavy trance interaction with your Gods that occasionally involves what amounts to "astral sex." Yah, fine. No problem. My path has occasionally veered down that direction, and I know a bunch of others that have as well. But some HP/HPS comes along and "draws down" a God or Goddess who then supposedly expects a devotee to "have sex" (or some other interaction that involves an exchange of power and intimacy) because it is "the God" or "the Goddess" that demands it (because supposedly the HP/HPS has no volition), then I have to say, "Hey, wait a second!!" Now, I am not immediately saying "Bullshit." You - as HP/HPS if you are the one doing it - may be one of those people who completely "go away" when the God or Goddess is called down on you. Goddess knows I am - when I choose to be the HPS chosen for that ritual. However, BEFORE I go into ANY ritual where I am going to end up "going away" - I make DAMNED sure that I have a trance interaction with that particular Divine entity BEFORE the ritual starts. And the ground rules on what is "acceptable" to do with my body, and what is not is laid down and negotiated with that Divine entity. A situation like that described above strikes me as being a case of the human being wanting sex from the devotee - and using the God/dess as the excuse to "get some." It is RIFE with opportunities for abuse. And the fact that there are MANY MANY MANY pagans out there (coven or solitary) that think that just because "the God/dess says so" is a good excuse for poor choices and childish behavior. The person that buys that ritual chalice that their Matron wants, even though the only money they had to be able to pay for it was the rent or mortgage payment - that person is mistaking their own wants/desires for the want/desire of the Divine. And it isn't just in the Pagan community - that just is the one that I am thinking of at the moment (and therefore there are examples within it that are easy to think of). Hell, even our political community makes choices that lead to abuses of power and ethics. Is it any wonder that people outside of any given community points to these examples of abuse of power and say "See, ALL people of that community do the same thing. They are all bad/evil/wrong and should be treated poorly (or worse)." I guess what I am saying for the most part is, if you are part of a community that you feel is supportive of you and those like you - be aware of how your actions (and the actions of those you care about) reflect on that community. And watch out for predators (sexual or otherwise) in those communities. Maybe a few will get past you - but if you are paying attention to the issue (instead of turning a blind eye), there will be FAR fewer of those types "representing" your community. And if you are an HP or HPS who really thinks it is part and parcel of your "right" as a 3rd degree to have sex with your covenmates (outside of a romantic relationship) whether or not you blame it on God/dess - get help. Better yet, convert to some other religion - you are frankly an idiot. Listening: Blessed Silence
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Yeah, after all the hoping that the plague would pass me by, since I got really ill 2 weeks ago - guess who started down the vomitus path tonite. mechgogo and silvercrowsong both had this - supposedly after the 1st day, the pukies stop, so I am looking forward to that. Of course, because I have little to nothing in my system, I started breaking out in purple spots. Basically, my capillaries are bursting every time I puke because I am doing it so hard. Needless to say, I freaked just a little. I called two different ERs, and neither one would even tell me if they thought I should come in or stay home. I'm sure they are worried about lawsuits, but please. If I know enough about my body to be able to say that I am "bursting capillaries because I am puking" - and am just asking "should I come into the emergency room" it's not that much of an issue. Yes or no - I don't even have your name. So, after both ERs refused to talk to me, and my father said he was worried about it (My father has a background that includes lab work - particularly with blood - so when I have no where else to turn, I ask him for advice) - I decided to Google it. Most of the things I read were talking about vomiting after binge drinking - but it's pretty similar. Seems like this happens often to some people. I just have never had it happen to me before. Supposedly it will go away (like a bruise or a hickey). So yeah, shoot me now. I want to stop puking soon! Tags: life
Feeling:  sick
Listening: Blessed Silence
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I'm beginning to wonder about the writers a bit. It's one thing to basically offer fictional claims (and they aren't the first) that Nikola Tesla never actually died in his hotel room. Heck, my first introduction to Tesla was via Spider Robinson - who influenced my rather positive view of the man. (Yes, I have read stuff about him, including that one of his phobias - or at least serious dislikes - was of fat people). I was even pretty darn happy with the portrayal of a sad, doomed figure in the movie "The Prestige" (portrayed by David Bowie - and well done, I might add). But Sanctuary has him not only as a vampire, but as a pretty darn hateful man. Makes me wonder why the writers have such a hard on for him. Then, on top of it, they also have Jack the Ripper as a character on the show. And at least the most recent episode has me feeling compassion rather strongly for the character. Yes - I know these are both fictional portrayals - so don't worry that I'm mixing fantasy with reality. It's just, there's a bit of a weird role-reversal going on. By all accounts, while Tesla could be cruel, he was normally described as a very soft-spoken, nice man (albeit eccentric as hell). Whereas Jack the Ripper is considered to be one of the all-time monsters, even among other serial killers. I don't think I like it. I also can't believe that the guy who plays the Jack the Ripper character is ALSO the actor playing the Neanderthal. That just blows my mind. Listening: Blessed Silence
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After the seriousness of the previous.....I need to share an email my father sent me. ---------------------------------------------------------
Why do we love children?
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1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!' 2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.' 3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.' 4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?' 5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?' 6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?' 7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!' 8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.' 9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-y ear-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.'(I want this line used at my funeral!) 10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!' 11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!' Listening: Blessed Silence
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For those who don't care, or for those who are watching the show - and haven't seen the newest episode from last Friday, I'm cutting the content. For those who hate the show on my list, you could read this piece, particularly since I disagree strongly with your position - but if it just gets you pissy and makes you decide I'm a piece of shit with no conscience and therefore will drop me from your flist.....well, make your own decisions about your life. ( Here it goes...... )So, yes, Dollhouse is exploring some very dark parts of the human condition. But if you realistically look over his filmography - focusing primarily the ones that he is the creator of - you will notice a theme running through them. On the surface, he is basically exploring the realities of good vs. evil. If you look deeper, each of the series he's created have a specific theme running through them on exactly what portions of human good and human evil he is dealing with. Of COURSE, Dollhouse is going to push people's buttons. On the surface, he's exploring the idea of human slavery and also exploring the real limits of what consent really means. But if you look at it deeper, he's also exploring the motivations behind it - and exploring the character of the type of people who would allow themselves (both as actives and as the controllers) to become part of it. Yes, it is dark and it is painful. But it is supposed to be. And it is supposed to make you think. Good stories SHOULD make you think. Just like good comedy, it is supposed to make you consider a situation from all angles, and therefore think DEEPER about it, rather than just going with your gut. It should make you think, consider other options than just your own limited opinion (and I consider even my OWN opinions to be limited, because they are based only on my own perceptions of the world around me, which may or may not reflect reality), and perhaps therefore change the way you think and the way you see the world. But, I suppose if you aren't the kind of person that likes to think and analyze - that you would simply look at the superficial aspects and ignore the deeper implications. And if so.....frankly, I'm sorry for you. But you have to be the person you are - and I have to be the person I am. I know lots of people who consider my way of viewing movies and TV shows (i.e. exploring the possibility of deeper meanings) to be overwhelming - and sometimes just annoying. Heck, I married someone who considers it to be sometimes annoying. But it is part of who I am. Listening: Blessed Silence
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First off, I think the man is a douche, and deserves to go away for many years for what he did to that young lady in the 70s. Please know, I have been reading more about this case - and getting as much information as I can. Because, realistically, I feel that is very important in ANY criminal case. Even in cases where it is pretty damned clear what is going on. I'm going to put footnotes in this, so you can see exactly where I am getting my information from. And in this case, it is pretty damned clear - except for the fact that the California Superior Court has "agreed that there was 'substantial misconduct' in the original hearing. 1. There are a couple of reasons why there are a lot of celebrities defending him. Let's look at a couple: - He's had a lot of tragedy in his life
- He lived in the Krakow Jewish ghetto from 1935 until the Nazis decimated it in 19432. He watched his parents being taken away and escaped from the Nazi grasp. He found out later that his mother died in Auschwitz.
- He was married to Sharon Tate, the pregnant actress who was murdered by the Manson 'family' (and she was pregnant by him).
- Of course, they also cite this rape as one of the tragedies in his life.
- The victim in the rape case, Samantha Gailey (who is now married with the last name of Geimer), has asked authorities to dismiss the charges against Polanski.3
- The admission of guilt in the courtroom was a plea bargain and was essentially for "statutory rape" (although, defined in the article as "unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor"3).
- And finally, because a lot of them "look up to him" - a quote from Jack Nicholson describes this very well: "When Jack Nicholson is asked why he let Polanski dictate his performance, he supposedly responds: 'Because the bastard's a genius.'"4
Does this excuse the behavior of an adult male toward a 13 year old female, even in the 70s? Hell no! But it certainly is going to have an impact on this. Additionally, there are questions why after so many years - and after Polanski has had a HOME in Switzerland - that suddenly the Swiss are arresting this man. There are rumors (unsubstantiated at the moment) that it has political motivations. 3Unfortunately, given the fact that there was 'misconduct' in the original hearing, and if the rumors of political reasons for his arrest are proven to be true - it is likely this jackass is going to be "off the hook." None of the reasons that this guy is being "defended" are - for me - good ones. Except for the victim's comments about asking the authorities to dismiss, and that is only me having compassion for the victim, rather than any compassion for this man. It sounds to me like she has forgiven him, and has moved on with her life - and just wants this issue from her own past to be over and done with. I too think this issue needs to be over and done with - but, well, I would like him to actually pay for what he did. Some people think having to be "on the lam" means he already paid for his crime - and that it has been longer than the original sentence would have been. Because of the plea bargain he took, he would have only been sentenced to a THREE YEAR INCARCERATION. 4 Three years for rape? Does that sound even reasonable? Even if it was considered "statutory rape" that still seems to me to lack justice. In fact, if he's brought back to the US, and found guilty, he faces 50 years incarceration for having essentially jumped bail. 3 So, we'll put a rapist behind bars for only three years, but if you jump bail, you'll be put away for 50. Sounds like a LOT of justice to me (NOT!). So, that's it. That's basically what I think - and this is going to be the ONLY post on Polanski that I will do. I think this jackass has received far more news bites than he deserves. And I frankly don't want to see this turn into another OJ Simpson-esque crap-fest.
Footnote 1: Quote taken from The Guardian UK article entitled: Roman Polanski arrest: Hollywood unites in his defenceFootnote 2: Information found in the timeline at the bottom of this Guardian UK article: Roman à clef. Further information in this item is also found within this article. Footnote 3: Again, back to the Guardian UK article Roman Polanski arrest: Hollywood unites in his defence. Footnote 4: And back to the other article, Roman à clef. Footnote 5: Taken from an article - again in the Guardian UK - from December 2008, talking about Polanski - Waiting to come in from the coldListening: Blessed Silence
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Well, I finally have some progress. It seems that contacting the VP of Support was a winner! He didn't call me back, but he set one of his direct underlings to researching my issue, and contacting me regarding the issue. Of course, he called just as I was leaving to pick up silvercrowsong from work. I had taken hisphedre along with me to talk (and to tell her the whole Adobe saga), but well - she ended up hearing it while I explained it to this gentleman. It took the entire drive from our place to silvercrowsong's work (about 20-25 minutes), plus another 3-5 minutes to actually cover the entire story of what has gone on since September 2. He was appalled at the lack of quality of support I received. And he understood that after nearly a month of this, I am expecting something more than just finding out what the answer to my support question was. No, I am not above asking for some recompense for pain, suffering and frankly loss of work time due to this issue. He told me that I would get a call at 8:30 from a local tech (well, mostly local, he's located in Watertown, WI - which for those who don't know, is about halfway between Madison [capital of Wisconsin] and Milwaukee [which is on the shores of Lake Michigan]). Less than 3 minutes after hanging up the call with this guy, I got a call from the tech guy. Which, of course, made both me and hisphedre laugh. (although, after I hung up with the tech guy, she told me that if I got another phone call, she'd take my bluetooth headset and shove it up my butt!) I told him immediately that I was away from my computer, so I could not do a good version of tech support. We discussed the issue for a while, and he read the entire case notes. Turns out he was involved in this a bit earlier, but the person from India that IM'd him didn't give him any background on the case, and basically told him that the problem was with the extension I downloaded (which was a 3rd party class - which I *KNOW* that Adobe doesn't support, and wasn't asking for them to support), and therefore told this other person that "we don't support 3rd party extensions." Chalk another one up for people who don't have a clue about their actual job - nor a clue how to actually READ an issue that has popped up. We talked, and scheduled an actual in-front-of-computer support session around 8:45. That gave him enough time to put one of his kids to bed, and read her the story that they were in the middle of. I understand wanting to keep to a schedule with kids - and I fully support it. I told him so as well. After about half an hour or so, we did figure out that the issue was in my code, and we have a bit of a clue where in the code we are having the issue. We will be talking about it more today - so I might actually have this fixed soon. After I got off the phone with him, I called the other gentleman back and confirmed we were on the hunt for the issue and that it was definitely in my code. I also congratulated him on the kind of customer service I am FINALLY receiving. Really, that was the answer I wanted - I wanted confirmation that the issue was in my code, and NOT in the software. I really don't mind if this final guy finds a solution to the code error - at least he's confirmed it is a code error. I was freaked out that it was an issue with my software, because it didn't respond to ANY changes I made. So, why couldn't someone have done this 3 weeks ago? The upper level guy (just under the VP) said he wished all customers who had bad experiences like this were more like me. I have always been persistent when it comes to a service issue. I'm content to hear bad news from a service provider, it is only when I receive either poor customer service, or I do not receive the promised service(s) from that provider that I get pissy and start pushing. If the customer service rep is responsive, shows awareness of my situation and my issue, but still is constrained from doing anything for me, I am satisfied that I have been heard, and there is just no possible solution other than the one specified by the company. If they are not, I will push it as high as I need to in order to actually get results. Heck, with Comcast, I even wrote their Board of Directors before I got some response. Yes, it is rocking the boat. But there are just some times when you HAVE to rock the boat. Tags: adobe
Feeling:  awake
Listening: Blessed Silence
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So, I finally got a response from Adobe, a senior support representative actually freaking called me. Here it is, a week later, and I finally had to send an email asking what the status was. I get a response today. The response basically tells me that these people are looking at the Adobe products of Captivate and Connect - and NOT FLASH. Idiots. So, I go off to Adobe.com to try to contact that supervisory person in Canada again. And what do I find? An "open letter to Customers" from the Vice President of Tech Support basically apologizing for crappy customer service. So, now that I have a freaking name - I call the HQ again. This time, I put in the VPs name in the "search for last name" automated line. I get his voice mail. I leave a message. Now I am waiting either for his phone call - or SOMEONE else's. I'm getting so damned sick of this shit. I can't believe how screwed up this support has been. I dropped over $1,000 for their products. I've bought their products again and again, because they are my industry's standard. And I am going to HAVE to continue to buy their shit too, because of the fact that it is industry standard. If I had a PC, I would frankly at this point start transitioning most of my work over to the Windows Expressions/Blend stuff. But until Microsoft allows for people on a Mac to work on it, the industry probably won't move over to it. Tags: adobe
Feeling:  angry
Listening: Drop Dead Diva
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This morning, I was asked if Adobe had finally dealt with my issue. I can categorically say that NO, Adobe has not followed through on their promise to have this issue dealt with. Adobe Tech Support is only open Monday - Friday, unless you have their "Premium" service plan (and pay through the nose for it). If you pay for it, the answer comes 24/7, 365 days a year. So I contacted Customer Service at this point, since they are open 24/7. Besides, at this point, it is becoming a HUGE customer service issue. After discussing this issue with the CS rep, I was assured that the issue had been passed onto the Senior Techs. However, I was also told that no priority had been given to it. They have multiple priority levels, and the lower the priority the less attention something receives. In other words, with NO priority, my issue was put on the BOTTOM of the pile. Given that I was promised a 24 hour turn-around on an answer, I am less than thrilled at this issue. And given that the last three days of this week have been busier than hell, I am not surprised that even *I* had to put this issue on the back burner. That does NOT excuse Adobe's behavior in this issue. As easy as it would be to blame this issue on outsourcing to India, that is not truly the issue either. The issue is the lack of actual responsible (and accountable) Customer Service in large conglomerates. I know a LOT of people who have their livelihoods from being CS reps. I even know a lot of people who make their living as tech support reps. I cannot see how the interactions I have received from Adobe (except for perhaps the last one, since he tried valiantly to do everything he could to turn the issue around) can be considered ANY attempt to give good support. Most of those people I have spoken to about this issue (who have backgrounds in either CS or TS) are appalled by the interactions I have received. Not surprisingly, I am not a happy camper. Tags: life
Feeling:  annoyed
Listening: Blessed Silence
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OK, so I have been working on something that SHOULD BE a simple banner. It's for a website template for my job, and the original was created in Actionscript 1, and I need to translate it to Actionscript 3. Back on Sept. 2, I emailed tech support asking for help. At the submission of the request for help, it stated that I would hear back from someone in 3 days. September 2 plus 3 days makes it September 5, no? I didn't get a response until September 10! If that had been the only screw up, I would have grumbled a bit, and moved on. That weekend was Labor Day, and had that been the only issue I would have basically assumed the delay was due to the holiday weekend. The initial response from Adobe? Basically told me that a) the person did NOT read the actual submission I made; and b) that they just wanted to get it off their system. So, I replied with further information, and told them that I had also reinstalled Flash, because I believed the issue was that the multiple crashes I was getting had corrupted the program itself. Unfortunately, that did NOT fix the issue I was having, which I also added to the information I gave to Adobe. This "support person" (I put it in quotes because if *I* had been this person when I was doing tech support, I would have been FIRED for incompetence!) closed my case because as he put it "Thank you for telling us that your issue has been fixed by reinstallation." Obviously, I reopened the case immediately! After another entire set of posts and replies - again with replies telling me that he was not actually READING what I was submitting - I finally got so angry I called Adobe. After waiting an HOUR on hold, on my cell phone, I finally got through to a person. Only to be hung up on when I ask to speak to a supervisor. After another 20 minute hold time, I finally get another person. I ask to speak to a supervisor. I get asked for contact information, and the case number. Ok, no problem - they want to make sure everything is up so the supervisor knows what is going on before he/she speaks to me. This guy asks me FOUR TIMES, "What can *I* do to help you?" Each time I tell him get me to a supervisor. Finally, after telling him that the issue I am having is "above his pay grade," I finally get transfered to a supervisor. I made damned sure he had my cell phone number at this point, just in case he got cute and "oops, I lost the person on hold. Sorry." After finally reaching the supervisor, it still takes another round of not only repeating the information on the treatment I was receiving from his Level 1 Tech Support, but also re-iterating my original problem TWICE before actually getting any response beyond "I'm sorry, there is nothing we can do for you." I also found out that their "Tier 1 Support" (which is SPECIFICALLY called tech support) knows absolutely NOTHING about coding actionscript at all! In other words, the person I was initially placed with had NO information in order to specifically say that "Yes, your issue is with your program" or "Yes, your issue is with your code." No wonder I was getting canned scripts in reply to my needs. If you don't have the information to actually assess if the problem is located in the code or in the program itself - you can't actually help someone having a problem. Only their "Senior Tier 2 Support" actually knows Actionscript. I do not expect Adobe to FIX the problem if it is a code issue. If it is a code issue, I expect them to say, "Look, the code at lines x, y, and z is what is causing your problem. Please fix that code, and you will be fine." While that doesn't GIVE me the answer - it does tell me where the problem lies, and *I* am a good enough researcher to FIND an answer if I can't figure it out for myself. The problem stems from having written code - based on advice from an ADOBE DEVELOPER - that didn't work. OK, fine. Return the code back to a previously WORKING state (because as I change each piece of code, I know enough to make sure it WORKS before moving on to the next step!). I comment out the non-working code - and get the SAME error I got with the code uncommented. OK, thinking that Flash is ignoring the commenting out - I DELETE the bad code, comments and all. SAME exact error as if the code is still there. Quit and restart Flash. Same error. Quit and restart computer. Same error. Recreate code in a DIFFERENT file (just in case the same file got corrupted somehow). Same error. Reinstall Flash on computer. Recreate code in a THIRD file. Same error. See a theme developing anyone? When a set of code is throwing the SAME error, but the code that ORIGINALLY caused the error is NO LONGER THERE (and was NEVER in the code of the two NEW files), that tells me something is going on with the Program, not the code. Or at least that is the logical conclusion that *I* came to. Currently, I am waiting for that Senior Tech support person to contact me. After getting through to this supervisor last night, I have HOPES that the Senior Tech will get back to me in a reasonable amount of time, but I have some serious doubts as to whether they will or not. If they continue this type of behavior, I may end up walking further up the food chain until I get someone who DOES give a shit. I don't believe that crappy customer service means I should give up. Last time I had an issue like this, it was with Comcast - and I went all the way up to the Board of Directors and CEO with the issue. It is interesting how quickly someone lower down gets interested in fixing my problem when you talk to the Big Guys. I don't do it with EVERY customer service interaction, even if I am unhappy with the response. I only get pushy if the lower levels are NOT doing the minimum work necessary to address my needs. If the needs are addressed, but the answer is still negative, then at least I have the confidence that the needs were taken into account and addressed. I don't have to be happy with the result - but at least the Customer Support person actually did their job, and that is really what I ask for. Don't do the job you are being paid for, and I will DAMNED WELL make sure that someone hears about not only the fact that you didn't do the job you are being paid to do - but that someone also finds out what the original issue is, and motivate those people to actually DO SOMETHING about it. With Comcast, not only did I finally get the issue dealt with, but I got a free month of cable out of it - due to not only the issue of not having access to something I was paying for, but in addition the amount of frustration and work I had to do to finally actually get someone to DO SOMETHING. At this point, I am supposedly getting "help" that normally requires payment. If I actually get it. Tags: work
Feeling: annoyed
Listening: Blessed Silence
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I'm sure some of you are tired of my fat-related rants here. Some of you I may be preaching to the choir. Unfortunately, there is a LOT of humanity that preaches stupid myths about fat people - and I am damned sick of it. First let me post some articles that support my comments. I tried to find a copy of Season 3, Episode 7 of Project Runway (the "Everyday Women" episode) that actually has public statements by Jeffery about how he doesn't design for "fat women" - and won't do it. It isn't just him, it's a LOT of designers that "choose" not to do so - and have many different (and most often FOOLISH) reasons for not doing so. Let's look at this from a Business standpoint, shall we? The AVERAGE American woman is a size 14, and approximately 33% of all American women wear a size 16 or larger. What these designers are saying, in essence, is that they are not interested in making money by selling quality AND quantity - they would rather make their money by selling quality, and charging an arm and a leg for their designs. In other words, they want a "mystique" or a "exclusivity" to their designs. So those of us who actually want to look half-way decent and not like our grandmothers get to either a) pay a seamstress to custom make ALL of our clothing (and ONLY if we have our own ability to design halfway attractive clothing FOR OURSELVES); or b) pay through the nose for clothing that is POORLY MADE and still looks like either a gunny sack, or something our grandmothers would wear (or worse, only something a "hoochie mama" would wear. I'm sorry, but something that splits a seam the first time you wear it and do anything other than STAND (and yes, the size was MORE than large enough for me - it did NOT split just because I am fat, it split because it was POORLY MADE), and splits so badly that not only the SEAM splits, but so does the rest of the fabric rendering a very expensive shirt into simply a rag for the cleaning supplies - THAT is completely unacceptable. I'm used to getting a run in my pantyhose the first time I wear them - because really, we're talking about a fabric that runs even if you LOOK at it cross-eyed. But a silk shirt, if created correctly and sewn with basic quality control should hold up to at least 10 wearings (if not more - I have clothes made for me 10 years ago by my mother that I can still wear, although at this point they are more for schlub wear than anything "nice"). What prompted this ranty-mcRanty-pants today? I watched the latest "Drop Dead Diva" episode. At first I didn't like this show, because frankly it seemed to me that the pilot of the show was just catering to every single damned cliché about fat people, and pointing at it and laughing. But I have recently started watching the show again, and I am far more impressed with the fact that it seems to be both entertaining AND giving some support to fat activism! In this episode, Jane (the thin model who died, but then came back in the body of a size-16 woman) is attempting to shop at an exclusive store on Rodeo Drive, and not only is she treated abominably, but she is told that NONE of their clothing is intended for her "silhouette" - in other words, "chickie, you are TOO fat, go away." She essentially gets kicked out of the store for being too fat, and is treated rudely and cruelly by the workers of that store. So, being a lawyer, she sues. She loses her case - but brings up some excellent issues. And, while she lost her case, she got through to the majority investor for the store, who basically went back to the designer and said "you WILL design for a larger number of women, so that *I* will make more money on my investment." Designers are designing for UNREAL women (if you are a man, ask the next woman you see [if she's friendly] what size dress they wear. I will bet you dimes-to-doughnuts that they DO NOT say they wear a size 0). Even my sister, who I lived MOST of my life with her being a LOT smaller than myself was never smaller than a size 10, and most often was a size 12. And she was 5'6" and weighed 145 lbs at her smallest. NO ONE ever called her fat - except these designers would do so! I don't see why it is so hard to design for REAL women. Nor do I see that women over size 12 should be penalized for their body simply because they are "larger" than a size 0 woman. The SAME clothes that fit a size 6, but set up in a size 18, costs TWICE as much to almost FOUR times as much. The typical myth is that because the clothes for the "larger woman" require "more cloth" that explains the cost differential. I have watched BOTH my mother and my grandmother extend patterns that were bought too small for me. In essence, we are adding approximately 1 inch of fabric to ALL seams per size that you are adding to the pattern. So, let's look at that. A pair of jeans in size 10 can usually average about $20-$40. Jeans for someone size 16+ on an average run $40 - $90 (if you go for the CHEAP jeans). Let's just look at the difference between a size 10 and a size 16. That's 12 inches added on each outside seam (6 on each side), and 12 on each inside seam (again, 6 on each side). That's 2 ft. more. Average price for denim is approximately $10/yard at RETAIL prices (meaning it is probably $2-$3/yard at wholesale prices). But let's look at it using RETAIL prices. An extra 2 feet is 0.75 yards. OK, that is an extra $7.50 for the extra fabric being added to the jeans. So, look at the price difference again. Exactly HOW does less than $10 of difference in cloth (even paying RETAIL prices for the cloth) equate with adding 200% to 250% to the price (and sometimes even adding 400% to 700% to the price for something REALLY nice)? It doesn't. But women are stuck buying what is available - so we pay what we have to in order to get clothes that cover our asses. And even then, we don't get the happy feeling of ownership, because the QUALITY of the clothing is so poor that we have to REPEATEDLY buy the same things just to KEEP having something decent to wear, because the other pieces are destroyed after a couple of wearings. It makes no sense to me, and it PISSES me off. Tags: life
Feeling:  thoughtful
Listening: Blessed Silence
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The Age of EnhancementI would encourage you to go read this article. I thought about making this a poly-focused post, but the more I think about it, the more I find this particular article thought-provoking on many more levels. It discusses the ethics that we really need to think about when talking about drugs that enhance the human condition. Things included in the article: 1) Drugs (specifically a beta-blocker, normally used for heart-related issues) that help those with PTSD by helping to make the emotional connection to the memory less strong - meaning that it relieves some of the symptoms of PTSD, and allows the patient to "lead a more normal life." 2) Testing to find out if your mate is going to be "true to you" - making monagamy a "biological imperative." 3) Memory enhancers to help those with Alzheimers. And finally, a drug that is able to be delivered by nasal spray - and therefore could be added to HVAC units - that makes a human being more trusting, and thereby more willing to hand over money to someone. Some of these are certainly ideas that have compassion for others. Some of them are not quite so altruistic. I am not going to go into a discussion of the drugs that affect PTSD or Alzheimers - you make your own thoughts on that. But testing (or even worse, developing a drug) that makes sure monogamy is the only way to go? Sure, that's not how the article is written - but tell me that the American tendency to legislate morality wouldn't pass judgment on this particular thing as being "supportive of moral character." I could see a time when the government requires testing for vasopressin receptors, and requires gene therapy to "correct" this genetic "defect." And what if they do find that there is a gene (or chemical/hormone) that denotes whether a human is heterosexual or homosexual? Would it be right of the government to regulate (and require) testing for THAT gene, and require gene therapy to "correct" that? Just because it CAN be done, does not mean that it SHOULD be done. Research for research's sake is a slippery thing. Expecting "end users" of the results, whether it is vi gene therapy or via drug therapy, to make the moral decisions - instead of wondering whether those decisions will be made for the "end user" by someone else (such as the concerns raised in the final paragraph about the use of oxytocin by unscrupulous individuals or corporations), is idealistic. In an ideal world, we would all get to make those decisions for ourselves. But in a world where we have to be realistic and aware that sometimes, other people make decisions FOR us (whether we want them to or not), or make decisions that affect us on a basic/core level - I personally feel that scientists need to be a little bit more understanding of the ends of their means. But I'm just one human being - and a bit opinionated, and prefer to make my OWN judgments about my health and well-being. Other people may be just fine with someone else making some of these decisions for them. I can't understand why - but.....hey I am not them. Tags: life
Listening: Blessed Silence
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2 men carry AR-15s to an Obama event (I uge you to click the "full story" link as well) I understand that Arizona is an "open carry" state, and that these 'gentlemen' were completely legal. I understand that they remained "outside" the venue - rather than inside. I even understand that they were part of a group who were "exercising the right to bear arms." Even if the hysterical claims that Obama is going to "take away their guns" isn't true. But please. What is good about bringing something like that to an emotionally charged event? There's going to be protesters on both sides, and a lot of emotion running around. There's going to be anger and probably negative interactions. Whether or not it is legal - it just isn't a very smart idea to bring guns into that kind of an emotionally charged situation. The bearers may have had no intention to fire the weapons (and didn't as far as the reports tell it) - and may not have even had ammunition along with them. But the implied threat (and the intimidation factor) that is involved is very negative - particularly at an event where the President is on site. Now, it's true - I don't like guns. Well, let me clarify that ---> I don't like idiots with guns. I don't like the "mystique" of guns that offers some of these idiots false courage. But the only part to "gun control" I would like to see is a similar requirement to driving a car - have a license that requires you take a test (written and physical) proving you know how to handle guns in a safe and sane manner. I also know people on the other side of the debate about gun control. Strangely enough, these are the kind of people that I DO NOT worry about owning guns. Every single one of them respects the gun as the tool it is, and is aware of its dangers. Most of them go out of their way to educate children (and the ignorant) when the have a gun around a child (or someone who is ignorant). It's the idiot who shoots a gun (any type) into the air without any care about where the resulting bullet (or whatever other projectile(s) are in it) will come down - or what velocity it will come down at. Or the idiot who owns a gun for "home protection" but doesn't bother to practice with it, and buys ammo that has more penetrating power than he needs. Or the idiot who has the gun so easily accessible that he brings it out every time he gets into a stupid argument with anyone. And finally, the idiots who own guns, but refuse to teach their children to respect those guns - and then is surprised when their child either kills themselves, or one of their friends because the kid was playing with the gun. There is so much I would continue to say over this - but this is probably enough. Tags: politics
Feeling: awake
Listening: Birds singing
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I know there are people on my flist who are rampantly against the health care initiative that Pres. Obama has in mind - let alone the watered down version that some of the Dems are trying to push through. I know there are some who might even be part of that "over $250,000/year income" bracket (damned few, because I just don't know that many people who make that kind of money - but I'm sure there are at least one or two). And yes, this might just be a "class war" going on. But, it's not the "welfare" people, the elderly, and the disabled that are being fought for here. It's not even illegal immigrants (another favorite bogeyman for those who are disrupting the town halls). Those who are on welfare, who are elderly, and who are disabled already have something to fall back on - it may not be great, and it may not work for everyone, but it is there. It is for the nearly 47 MILLION people who constitute the "working poor" in America. The definition of "working poor" is anyone (family or single) who is making up to 200% of the "poverty income threshold." Just for kicks, here is the income guidelines from the Department of Health and Human Services ( http://aspe.hhs.gov/POVERTY/09poverty.shtml - NOTE: Poverty guidelines are used for assessing whether someone is eligible for assistance from the government, the STATISTICS for actual poverty thresholds are available as well at http://www.census.gov/hhes/www/poverty/threshld/thresh08.html, and since that is a more intricate table, I would refer you to there for the statistical information) - note, I did add the 200% column to this table for ease of reading: The 2009 Poverty Guidelines for the
48 Contiguous States and the District of Columbia | | Persons in family | Poverty guideline | 200% of Poverty Guideline | | 1 | $10,830 | $21,660 | | 2 | $14,570 | $29,140 | | 3 | $18,310 | $36,620 | | 4 | $22,050 | $44,100 | | 5 | $25,790 | $51,580 | | 6 | $29,530 | $59,060 | | 7 | $33,270 | $66,540 | | 8 | $37,010 | $74,020 | | For families with more than 8 persons, add $3,740 for each additional person. |
I will also quote from the notes on a report given by the Working Poor Families Project ( http://www.workingpoorfamilies.org/nat_report/nat_report_notes.html) that states "Earnings at 200 percent of poverty are used for low-income as a number of studies, including from the National Research Council, have concluded that the poverty threshold is an inadequate measure of economic self-sufficiency as it fails to consider the realistic costs of basic needs for families today."Now, let's look at that single person at the top of the table. I would DEFY anyone living in America today to be able to live at all on $10,830/year. That's $902.50/month BEFORE taxes - with Minnesota taxes, that comes to $676.88 per month. With luck - a LOT of luck - you might be able to find a room for rent for $400 a month. Leaving you maybe $276 to live on for the rest of the time. At $85.00 per month for a bus pass, that leaves you with $191 for food (ok, maybe you can get by on $20-$40 per week on groceries, so lets say $120/mo for groceries). That leaves you with $70. And if your employer takes out for medical insurance? There goes your $70 - and likely some of your grocery money as well. But you are working. You are working a full time job, with benefits. So, you aren't poor - are you? Your neighbor down the street who is on welfare (because at $400 a month, you are probably living in the worst parts of town), they get Medicare/Medicaid, and can go to the doctor for a hangnail - and even get vouchers for a taxi ride to the doc. But you break your leg falling down your own stairs, and you end up at the emergency room with little or no medical insurance because you can't afford to pay "your portion" You end up in bankruptcy because even if you do have medical insurance, the "co pay" and the "deductible" are more than you can afford to pay. You avoid doctors and dentists and all other forms of preventative maintenance because you CAN'T afford to do it. So, instead of catching something early, when it is low cost to you and the hospital - you keep going until you can't go anymore. And so, likely you end up where ever the government puts you because NOW you are homeless and sick as well. And that's just for the single person at the top of the list. Think about what that means for the family of four in the middle of that listing? Can YOU raise 2 kids on $44K a year, and still give them medical benefits? What about benefits for yourself? What good does it do to keep the kids healthy, but let their parents die young because of health issues? Just throws the kids into an already strained foster care system, and causes them to be EVEN MORE of a strain on the public teat. When the top 5% of the country has over 25% of ALL of the income in the country - yes, it is time for a restructuring of the income structure. In fact, to quote Global Research ( http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=14715): "In 2005, the top 1 percent of US households accounted for 21.8 percent of all pre-tax income, twice the figure in 1970s."And these reports were based on information gathered in 2007, before the slide into this crap started in August of that year. So, yes, I back making the "top earners" pay more. I would rather see it happen because we close all the tax loopholes that rich people always seem to find in order to GET OUT of paying their taxes and that low and low-to-middle income people can't ever afford to use. Closing those tax loopholes makes MORE sense to me than raising the taxes - but since I don't know how much closing those loopholes would actually offer (and therefore don't know if it would cover the costs of a more universal healthcare system), perhaps we might have to add a percentage point or two onto the salaries of those making more than $250K per year. I know, having lived as one of those working poor for most of my adult life, that if I was making that kind of money I would GLADLY pay the extra tax. Because I know damned well how hard it is to be working your ass off and still not making enough to cover the basics of life. Those 47 million of us who are the working poor are not sitting on our hands waiting for some hand-out from the government. We're not the idiots on the street corner who refuse to find a job, and would rather scam you out of a couple of dollars. We work for a living, and most of us work damned hard. So, don't try to sell us the "if you work hard enough, you'll make it" speech. Most of us have watched our parents WORK HARD ENOUGH, and see them still poor in their old age. Most of us WORK HARD ENOUGH and watch our money slip through our fingers because we can barely make basic payments on food, shelter, and basic maintenance. I don't have a Wii. I have TVs only because of hand-me-downs and Freecycle. We have a used XBox 360, without a hard drive. I only have computers because they were part of my financial aid package from school. Most of our furniture is hand-me-downs or otherwise used. Clothes are worn until they have holes in their holes - same with shoes. I'm not wasting my money (or the money of those in the house). I'm not buying $90 name-brand shoes, or gourmet foods. So, don't tell me that I am not doing enough to "fulfill the American Dream" - I've been working on it for years, and watching it retreat from me faster than I can move. Don't tell me that if I just work hard, I'll make it. I don't believe that anymore. Not when the CEO of a company can whine and cry about how many people he has to lay off, while he takes home more than 10 million dollars in "performance bonus." (How many of those laid off people could have been paid for another YEAR on that bonus money??) People talk about not "binding the mouth of the kine" - yeah, well, the next time I actually see a CEO get off his fat ass and actually WORK in the business (rather than take meetings and shmooze with his cronies and political yes-men) will be the FIRST time. He's not the "kine" - he's the overseer. The "kine" are the people who make the company go day-to-day. Without their productivity, the company has NOTHING. So, stop beating the cows - and start offering them something that actually helps them live! The class war has been going on for years - just the other way around. The rich have been making war on the poor for a LONG time - it's just this time, the poor actually might have a chance to change things. Yes, the peasants are revolting - but we're doing it better than we have before. Listening: Blessed Silence
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 So, I rarely have these little squee moments - but..... I *just* finally got Hulu. I had been (for some reason) avoiding it. But, it keeps me in touch with some things I have been wanting to watch without having to deal with the concern of "Hey, *I* wanted to DVR this, while YOU want to DVR that!" And, in the process, I am watching some older series that I perhaps either ignored, or didn't think were all that good back when they were actually on the TV. One of those series is "The Tick." And I'm watching Episode 2 (The Funeral). I'm also a big Bones fan. And here comes the guy that plays Dr. Jack Stanley Hodgins (T.J. Thyne), as a much younger version of himself, being a squeeing fan-boy for "The Immortal" on The Tick.Not only that, he's playing a squeeing fan-boy with adenoid problems. And it just is soooo cute! I think he's hhhhhhhooooooottttt! Just makes me want to ruffle that curly hair! Feeling:  amused
Listening: Blessed Silence
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This may seem hypocritical to some of you, given your personal opinion of my husband - but I have the urge to say something here. I don't care if you have won a Pulitzer, or some other form of award for your work - heck, I don't even care if you have won the Nobel Peace Prize - none of these things excuse the repeated and unapologetic activity of ass-hattery. I will - and have - put up with a lot of crap from a lot of people. And I will continue to do so - *IF* and *ONLY IF* they show signs of personal growth when approached with concerns about their behavior. It doesn't have to be "completely fixed" - just that they show signs of progress. Harlan Ellison has not, and continues to REFUSE to, show any signs of personal growth. He glories in his ass-hattery. He has been publicly and privately reproved for his behavior and actions on many, many, many occasions, and continues to repeat those same actions again and again. He trades on his dubious fame (I have never liked his writing, nor anything else he has produced), and people excuse his behavior for many reasons. The most popular right now is that he "is an old man, and set in his ways." Well, NEWS FLASH, kiddies. All those years of people excusing his behavior because of his "contributions to literature" have proven to him time and again that he is justified in his ass-hattery because it gives him publicity, and puts more money in his pocket. As much as one person cannot force another person to change - repeated consequences for certain behaviors will USUALLY encourage that person to change certain behaviors. When such consequences do NOT encourage the person to change those behaviors, then you (or I) have to make a choice whether or not we want that person in our lives (whether intimately in our lives, or peripherally). And flouncing off into the sunset because I (or someone else) called you on your bullshit is the exact same kind of behavior that gets you those consequences in the first place. If you are being an asshole - let me tell you that it is NOT any kind of "ism" to tell you that you are being an asshole, particularly if you have been REPEATEDLY talked to about your behavior. And if you DON'T listen the first 100 times you are being told - sometimes the verbage needs to become pretty harsh. OH, and as a side note also regarding behavior and asshattery, anyone who thinks telling a confused tranny who isn't listening to ANYONE about their behavior and choices in relation to their new gender orientation that they are a "man in a dress" is in return being an asshat, needs to go watch "To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar" again. The scene on the road where Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swazie tell John Leguizamo that he is not a Drag Queen, but simply a "boy in a dress." Putting on the clothes and the makeup does NOT make you a woman. Behavior, choices and actually trying to learn the intricacies of becoming a woman makes you a woman no matter WHAT genitalia you were born with. And certain people are *NOT* making the least bit of an attempt to do that. Nor are they listening to anyone who is gently letting them know that they are being asshats. So, when gentle does not work, and blunt does not work - occasionally it is only the harshest of words that gets through an intentionally THICK skull! Listening: Blessed Silence
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Moving forward. Got confirmation that I need to be doing the 6 meal a day diabetic diet, and need to do a 1,800 calorie intake. I can do 1,800 - the diets that Mom used to put me on were 1,000 and 1,200 at the most. 1,800 is considered "normal intake" for someone of my age. Since I didn't want a "diet" diet - but a normal intake goal for the 6-meal-a-day thing (because it is hard to do the planning for it if you don't have a calorie level limit) is a good goal for the diety type choices. He approved my exercise decisions. I lost another 11lbs - not as much as I had hoped, but more than I feared. Even without my blood pressure/anxiety meds - I was 117/76. Which both the Dr and the nurse said was surprisingly healthy for a person of my age and weight! That makes me freaking ecstatic! Blood sugars are a little wonky. Not surprising - I had gone on a modified gluten-free diet out in Seattle because it was just easier to buy the gluten-free stuff for both of us rather than one set of foods for me, and one set of foods for silvercrowsong. So, I need to be more anal about sticking to the gluten free stuff. Finally have a Dr willing to look at why my feet feel like they are made out of cardboard. He's sending me to Xray to take a picture of my feet, and then he is sending me to the podiatrist to make sure there are no MAJOR issues going on. I also need to be more anal about taking my meds morning and night (well, a couple of them) - because my sugars are a little high. I'm going to set the alarm on my phone to remind me every morning. Need to check my blood sugars more often too. ( If you are a boy, you may want to move on for TMI )Listening: Blessed Silence
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After much Googling, I still cannot find a copy of Sotomayor's speech (although it has also been described as a class lecture, and an article in the Berkeley La Raza Journal). The "offending" passage was part of what has been described as being about cultural diversity. While I cannot judge for myself, given that I can't find a copy of the original piece, looking at both liberal and conservative news articles and blog opinion pieces, I think both sides are leaving out a LOT of context. (correction, the New York Times has a copy of the text of the piece located at: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/15/us/politics/15judge.text.html.) I strongly encourage you to read the entire lecture/article/speech. You my develop a different understanding than I did - but at least you will be basing your opinion on the CONTEXT rather than the sound byte. In my case, the whole speech was about the diversity of experience, and how each judge's life of experience (both relating to cultural heritage and just simply life experience) affects the choices and judgments that they make. And at the time of the speech (I don't know if any of the demographics cited in the speech have changed), there was a definite disparity of "white male" judges to women, let alone women of color, let alone men of color (including Hispanic, Asian, and African Americans in the grouping). Even as we are a nation, we all have different childhoods - even siblings have a different childhood experience from each other (they may be similar, but they are rarely exactly the same). One white person may not have the same experience as another white person - and if one REALLY looks at the different cultures inside the American nation, you cannot deny that there really are DIFFERENT cultural experiences. Those of Latin descent also have differing experiences from each other, depending upon where their cultural heritage stems from (is it Mexican, Dominican, Cuban, Puerto Rican, or other??). As a human being, I cannot understand the cultural upbringing of another person without discussing it with the person that lived it. And I consider that universal - I don't understand Jewish cultural upbringing without discussing it with a Jew, nor African American cultural upbringing without discussing it with an African American, nor even understand someone of Italian descent without discussing it with them. And they are all different! So yes, I agree with Sotomayor that one's cultural heritage colors one's judgement. While all judges strive for impartiality (and she even says that in the speech), we have to accept that fact. And in some cases, that life experience may give a judge a better view of the situation than with someone (whether white male or not) who may not have that experience. It doesn't claim that white male judges are "worse" than some minority judge - just that in certain cases some of the blind spots that the white males of our society have (and ALL of us have different blind spots - white males included), may impede justice. Another quote from the same speech says what I am saying in the above paragraph: "Let us not forget that wise men like Oliver Wendell Holmes and Justice Cardozo voted on cases which upheld both sex and race discrimination in our society. Until 1972, no Supreme Court case ever upheld the claim of a woman in a gender discrimination case. I, like Professor Carter, believe that we should not be so myopic as to believe that others of different experiences or backgrounds are incapable of understanding the values and needs of people from a different group. Many are so capable. As Judge Cedarbaum pointed out to me, nine white men on the Supreme Court in the past have done so on many occasions and on many issues including Brown.
However, to understand takes time and effort, something that not all people are willing to give. For others, their experiences limit their ability to understand the experiences of others. Other simply do not care. Hence, one must accept the proposition that a difference there will be by the presence of women and people of color on the bench. Personal experiences affect the facts that judges choose to see. My hope is that I will take the good from my experiences and extrapolate them further into areas with which I am unfamiliar. I simply do not know exactly what that difference will be in my judging. But I accept there will be some based on my gender and my Latina heritage."</blockquote Tags: politics
Feeling: angry
Listening: Blessed Silence
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2nd day in the modified cold turkey. Cigs are starting to affect me the way they did when I first started smoking. I am going to try to push the timing further, in hopes that they will start giving me the severe nausea that I used to experience as well. Equating the experience of smoking with that nausea will help me keep away. It didn't when I was younger, but that was because I was "rebelling" - the smoking was a piece of stupidity doing the whole, "Well, I'll show them!" I'm trying to remember the nausea - but at the moment, all I can remember is that I had it. If I could get a good idea of the actual nauseous feeling....I can start equating the experience of smoking with that nauseous feeling. Psychology has to be good for something (*g*). I am finding it is easier to go without in the mornings (strangely enough, since I am not really a morning person). But the nights are more difficult. It may be because I feel most creative at night, and well.....creativity and smoking are somewhat linked in my head. But I seem to be able to do pretty well during the daytime. It is evening and night that the cravings start hitting more. I crave a smoke much harder the later it gets. But I am not sure it is the smoking that I am really craving. I'm going to start trying to simply go outside when I get the craving, and see if it is more a matter of wanting to go outside for a while. But I am definitely progressing. I can tell. The "smoker's cough" is becoming more "productive" - I'm actually bringing phlegm up instead of just having a dry hack. I'm starting to develop a headache when I smoke (as opposed to having a headache from the withdrawal, which I am also having, but it is a different kind of headache from the headache I am getting from the cig - withdrawal headache is right up front, like a sinus headache, whereas the other one is in the back of my head - not at the neck like a tension headache, but top of the back of the head). So, changes are being made. Heart palpitations are also getting less. I'm feeling pretty good about it. Tags: quit
Feeling: accomplished
Listening: Blessed Silence
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chipper
frustrated
I think either the woman from "Drop Dead Diva" - Brooke Elliott. Or maybe Camryn Manheim. 
disappointed
Back to older screams